Make it Real

Pick the right level of detail to build a connection with your audience and you’ll make it real for them.

We talked recently about storytelling, and how it’s an important skill for anyone in a leadership position. It’s a great way to get better at presenting to people and having the ideas stick in their minds.

Finding the right level is a key ingredient to great storytelling. You are making it concrete, which is a key part of the stickiness. If something is too big, vague or disconnected, then it won’t resonate and it’ll quickly be forgotten.

It’s particularly important when you are connecting the big company ideas to the activities that your team needs to undertake. It’s great to know that a major initiative will secure a significant success at the corporate level, but these things take time to come about.

A year into the effort, an appeal to this large goal may just stir a dim memory of a flashy exhortation relating to shareholder value, but is just as likely to feel like a top down directive that doesn’t engender buy-in.

Instead, think about the specific effort you’re looking for from the team, and the concrete value it will create. Refer to the big goal, but tie it in to your own efforts. What specific outcomes will you achieve, how does that help?

“We have to do this for the big initiative” is not a good way to make it real. “We’re going to deliver a great new product that doubles the number of subscribers and will contribute a quarter of the revenue goal of the big initiative” is a much better way to connect up the efforts at the right level of detail.

Put in the effort to make it real, you’ll find your connections are stronger, your team gets the why and they strive for success.

Coaching Leadership

What’s Number 1?

You can only have one top priority.

There’s always lots of important things going on, there’s always a lot of demands on your time and there will always be more than you are able to do.

So, you’ve got to be really clear on what is the top priority at any given time.

The advice is particularly valuable if you work in a team with lots of different stakeholders, or even just one who’s very demanding. As much at they might want to have 5 top priority “must do” items, there is actually a list in order from 1 to 5.

As a leader, one of the major strands of your role is teasing out that ordering. You need to manage the list and set expectations across stakeholders. You want to be pointing your team at item number 1, especially if it’s “important but not urgent”.

A physical list of priority items is a powerful tool. When a stakeholder requests a change, or shares more about the value of an item lower down the list, then you can show them the impact of moving something up, and how it moves other things down.

This approach is particularly valuable as you gain active engagement from the stakeholder. They aren’t able to assume you are working on both the old and new number 1 priorities in parallel. The physical list allows you to document the change, so you’ve covered the case of any accidental misalignment as well.

With a single number 1 priority, you’re then able to focus effort towards the top most important thing, and ensuring that if anything doesn’t get done then it’s less important than what does get completed.

Don’t lose focus, show your working and make sure there’s only one number 1.

Coaching Leadership

Recognising the Craft of Others

It’s easy to recognise the complexity and difficulty of your own role, especially when it’s a specific niche or requires a significant amount of expertise.

It can be harder for us to recognise that same complexity in the roles of others. Whether it’s those of you who write software assuming that design is easy, or people in finance who feel like complex products should spring into life fully formed and predictably, when you look at what “they” are doing, you quickly oversimplify.

How to you prevent yourself doing it, and how do you protect yourself from it happening?

Both sides are pretty similar, you need to go on the journey and walk a few miles in the shoes of others.

Stop and think hard about a job that isn’t yours, but you think is easy. What’s driving that thinking. Do you have any evidence, or is it just a feeling?

If it’s a feeling, seek out an opportunity to join in on the complexity. Sit in on a user research session and watch the skills of an experienced questioner gathering powerful insights. Get a software engineer to run you through the systems and show you how new features are launched. Spend half an hour with a finance professional to understand how they join together complex data sources to create vital governance reports.

Once you can see the complexity, it’s a lot harder to write them off as having it easy.

So if you are suffering the slings and arrows of someone shouting “simple”, then you need to get them inside and see that difficulty. It may be harder as if they don’t recognise the pain, they won’t be as proactive.

Appeal to their experience or see their insight. Get them into a session where they’ll see the difficulty and how you need experience to do well. If you can safely let them experiment in the space then that’s even better. Practical experience of failure will live on in their mind as a lesson far longer than seeing you succeed at something they still think is eay.

Recognise the craft and contribution of others, and help others to recognise your own craft. When everyone understands this, then you’ll form more effective teams, and crush complex problems by pulling in all the relevant experts at the right time.

Coaching Leadership

Being Wrong

Count the number of times that you admit to getting it wrong. Pull out a piece of paper and make a tally of every time you say “I’m wrong”. Half marks if you think it but just say it, bonus points for putting it out there in a conversation where you are the leader in the room.

If you are regularly hitting zero, then you’ve not got the right balance for learning fast. You aren’t pushing enough, you’re stuck in the comfort zone and you aren’t making much progress. It’s also important to check in here with how honest you are being. Reflect fully on the past and make sure that hubris is not setting you up for a fall. Retelling the story to make you right from day 1 is not going to support your desire for growth.

If you are just thinking it, then you need to make some more space to fail. You’ve got into the space of learning, and assuming you are changing your behaviour or actions then it’s a good start. To make it great, you need to build the safety in the group to willing to admit to being wrong. That’ll speed up the learning journey for all of you, building more momentum for change.

The bonus points for doing it in a leadership context come because you are setting the example for behaviours you want to see. If you want people to innovate, to take risks and to learn, then you need to show that with your actions. Own it when it goes wrong, show people how you are changing and be a role model for that behaviour. Remember, as the leader in the room, you are always being closely studied for signs of how to be successful.

Finally, if you are always admitting to being wrong, dial it back a bit. There’s certainly a balance to be found here, where “always” is as bad as “never”. Try highlighting 4-5 positive things for each negative, and make sure that hitting one small mistake doesn’t turn an overall success into something you were totally wrong about.

If you’re never wrong, you aren’t learning.


The Shimmy

In Rugby (warning, lots of sporting analogies ahead), there’s an important restart known as a line-out, where the Hooker (US readers, that’s probably not what you think it is) thows the ball back in to the field of play, and both teams compete to catch it to regain possession.

As with all contests, there’s a long list of rules governing what’s considered acceptable in the game, as the ideal outcome is a fair contest. The Hooker stands at the point the ball went out of play, the teams line up spaced evenly apart. The ball must be thrown in straight, and so on. Break a rule, you give away a penalty and the other team takes possession, with a large advantage in territory.

Now, given that a particular player is throwing the ball in, there’s an expected advantage to one side. It’s a fair contest, but it’s not a 50/50 battle.

The Hooker will also, 100% of the time, undertake a small shimmy towards the players on their team. Watch out for it on coverage, once seen it’s never missed.

This is a piece of gamesmanship that the officials turn a blind eye to, assuming it’s not incredibly blatant. Why do they do this, why don’t referee’s fully enforce the rules?

It’s a complex and fast moving situation with lots of players involved, everyone is trying to steal a few inches, so ruthlessly enforcing this rule would lead to lots of time penalising infractions, rather than playing the game.

The officials are incentivised to enforce the rules, but that’s only in service of a larger incentive to create a free flowing, fast and above all exciting game for the participants and the fans. So they overlook the little things where doing so works in favour of hitting the more significant goal of having a great game.

To bring it back to you, where can you put in the shimmy? What’s the small action that you can take that serves the greater good rather than the immediate short-term outcome?

Coaching Leadership

Learn Fast

Fail fast is a common and popular refrain in certain circles. It’s something you’ll hear from a lot of people as they are busy shouting about “pivots” and other sudden changes of direction.

It’s a useful approach, but it’s easy to miss the point by taking it at face value. If you just keep throwing out ideas, trying them and failing, then all you’ll end up doing over time is building up to a big failure. That’s not a positive outcome.

Instead, think about what you are learning from every effort. The goal is to then design activities so you get to learn something quickly, to feed into the next cycle. This puts focus back onto the positive iteration, skipping the sometimes negative tones of failure.

Sometimes, the thing that you learn is that your idea was not right. That’s a great outcome so long as you’ve learnt something, and use it to make your next effort better.

So learn fast, pivot with meaning and build your momentum with positive iterations.



The value of planning is the process, it’s very rarely the plan itself.

An effective planning process drives out the complexity of what you are trying to achieve. It shows you the priority, who needs to get involved and where the difficulties may be. You also get to say what you aren’t going to do, which is especially valuable before you’ve invested a lot of effort.

One quick test for effectiveness, check the level of detail you are working to, and measure it against the scope and duration of the plan. If the scope is more than a couple of weeks, then anything talking about specific days or people is too much detail to be useful. By the time you are looking at a year, then the plan is more of a strategy, and you are better placed to think about a focus of effort and the outcomes you are chasing, rather than the specific things and order they will be done.

Once you’ve built a plan, get ready to rip it up. Things change, and the only thing that’s uncertain is how quickly they will change. If you stick dogmatically to the plan, you’ll quickly find yourself chasing dates that don’t make sense, or pushing for features that are no longer needed.

The most painful failed projects are those that treat the initial plan as a rigid structure, rather than a guide towards a potential future.

Still, keep cycling through the planning process. Take in what you’ve learnt, what’s been completed and consider what’s changed. This means you are not starting from scratch each time, but course correcting with more information.

Iterating is key, especially in a fast moving environment. If you find planning a chore, then doing it little and often should cure this feeling. If you plan by six-month cycles, try cutting it to three and I’m sure you’ll get a better outcome.

Create your plan, throw it away when it’s no longer helping!


Try it on for size

Once you’ve got the hang of gracefully accepting the gift of feedback, then consider a next step of trying it on for size. In the corporate world, we get a lot of “constructive” feedback, which is code for something the feedback giver thinks you aren’t doing particularly well.

The first reaction is the defensive denial, which we’re moving beyond thanks to the practice of graceful acceptance.

The next stage is the long form denial and rationalisation. That’s where we find some other reasons to discard the feedback provided. It’s wrong, misguided or doesn’t match my style. Very rarely that’s 100% true. What’s more likely is that it’s not fully wrong, nor truly correct. It’s filtered through the knowledge and bias of the feedback giver, so it’s right for them, but not quite right for you.

Speaking from personal experience, telling them where they are wrong doesn’t work! It’s a second order failure of the graceful acceptance model, it’s just delayed a bit from the initial sharing of the feeedback.

So, instead of discarding it or telling people they are wrong, what can you do?

Just try it out.

Find some low risk scenarios to trial it. Maybe you’ve been told that your questioning style feels aggressive, but you think you are just direct. Hold off questioning in a big forum like an all hands for a while, and instead try out some softer techniques in a team meeting or other small group.

Go heavier than you feel comfortable with. You are trying this idea on for size, and you know it’s not something you 100% agree with, so it’ll be tough. If you dial up to 11, then you’ve got a fair shake of hitting a 7 or 8.

Think about how it felt, see if you can get any specific comments about it, compare the inside and outside views to find the truth that’s somewhere in the middle. You blend this fresh feedback with your own values and styles, and find the right change for you.

The power move is to then take this change and show it in-front of the person who’s given the constructive feedback. You’ve wrapped it in your own authentic style, so are happy. They see a change, so they are happy the feedback was taken on board.

Finally, if trying it out really doesn’t do anything for you, then you are still able to “return the gift to the shop”, fully aware you gave it a fair shot.

Coaching Leadership

Who is “They”?

An insidious tactic of someone who’s trying to disrupt your priority list is an appeal to “they”. It’s always an anonymous and shadowy group, and all that you can be sure is that “they” are important, and “they” want something.

The only way to defend against this is with a spirit of coaching, and to start following interest. Make sure to stay positive, and start out by discovering who “they” are. Is this group of people important to you and your team? Are they people that you want or need to keep happy, or are they just fishing for resources? Where do they sit in your stakeholder map?

Next up, get into the why. Why are these people coming to you? What’s stopping them going through normal channels or using their own resources to get this thing done.

Consider offering to take up the discussion directly with “they”. It’s exciting to see how often the request is actively coming from the group, versus their name used in vain to add weight to another agenda. Sometimes just asking this is enough to make the request go away entirely!

Once you give in to requests from “they”, then you’ll find your time is ever more devoted to the whims of others. With some gently probing questions, you take back the power to prioritise effectively and deliver more value sooner. Don’t let “them” win.