People who aren’t helpful often end up becoming isolated. If you won’t work with others, they’ll find a way to work around you. On the flip side, if all you ever do is try to help others, then you won’t be able to find focus to achieve the things that you are trying to do, so you need to find an effective balance.
The most important thing to understand is that saying yes to every request that comes your way is not going to be the best way to balance providing that help.
Sometimes, it may just be providing a simple bit of info, answering a question that you know the answer to. In that case, just do it! Even better if you can point the person to some extra resources or support so they are able to help themselves in future.
Other times it’s all about making a connection. If you don’t know the answer, maybe you know someone who does and can provide an intro. Again, this is a low effort way to help someone, so you should go for it if possible.
Finally, it might be a request for more time, diverting you from current work. A flat ‘no’ is often unhelpful, but no more so than a ‘yes’ that you don’t intend to actually follow through on. Instead, look at what support you can provide. Is it an important or urgent request that’s worth re-ordering your priorities for? Can you delegate the request elsewhere and provide support there? If you do need to say no, can you still provide guidance on what the requestor may need to do to be successful?
A sincere and thought through response is much more likely to leave someone thinking how helpful you were, even if the immediate answer is no. “I’d love to help, but I’m current working on top priority work that must be completed this week. I can give you some support next week, or I can introduce you to this other team who may have more capacity”.
If you are helpful, people will connect with you, and that really is something that will increase your effectiveness over time.
James Osborn 