In big orgs, it’s really easy to fall prey to the assumption that people have the same context as you, the same incentives and the same decision making approach.
It becomes most obvious that you are falling in to this mistake when you work with a group that you aren’t used to working with, and you have a big break in communication. Something that your team considers vital is not even a consideration to them. You get frustrated, it’s obvious. Surely they must understand what you want is the most important thing, and how you want to do it is the right way.
If the other group think in the same way, then there’s never going to be a solution. You’ll bang up against each other, each thinking you are right, that you are doing the thing that best for the org, and that the other side is just wrong.
The best way I’ve found to manage this is to bring in your coaching skills of questioning and listening. People are neither evil nor stupid, and the vast majority believe that they are doing the best thing based on their current context.
So if you hit this disconnect, start asking questions to understand more:
- What’s your top priority right now?
- When can you support our needs?
- How would you solve our problem?
- What other approach could we take?
- How can we help to find a solution?
- Who can break this deadlock?
By understanding more of the context, and sharing more of your own, you build the pool of understanding across the group. You can determine what the right way forwards is, and rather than two sides fighting against one another, you come back to the single team seeking the best outcome for the larger group.
Don’t get frustrated if people don’t immediately do what you want, be ready to do the work to share the why, and to help them understand rather than falling to the fallacy that everyone always thinks the same as you.
James Osborn 